OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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