Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
