I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
