First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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