ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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