I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
