you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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