i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
