that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
