He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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