Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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