Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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