ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
