I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
