I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
