We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize