Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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