i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
