I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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