those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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