Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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