I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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