and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
