dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
