i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
