I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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