umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
