nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
