Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
