I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
