So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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