Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
