Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
