Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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