i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
