areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
