Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
