the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just want to make out with him forever
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
