perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
