Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I have already put on my inside pants.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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