Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
