Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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