Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
