Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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