Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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