Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
