And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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