That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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