Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
