oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
