he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
