I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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