Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If its not for food we ain't going out.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
