he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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