thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
