dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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